How to be a Conversationalist

   I've always thought I was a good conversationalist. I like talking to people, sharing stories, laughing and having a good time. But I realized when I really thought about it, maybe I’m not as great as I thought I was. A lot of the time, when I “listen”, I really just nod my head and smile. While I'm doing this, my mind wanders into its own little world, sometimes I’m thinking about what I have to get done around the house or homework I need to do, but sometimes I think I just blank out. I’ve come to realize that I do this way more than I’d like to admit. Sometimes, I even catch myself not listening and I actually have to stop the person mid-sentence and politely ask them to start over. Shamefully, even after I do that, I sometimes still don’t listen. So instead I respond with a giggle or a one-word comment and fake that I listened. I realized how bad of a conversationalist I actually am after watching a TedTalk given by a woman named Celeste Headlee. In her TedTalk she goes over 10 rules on how to have a better conversation. The one rule that stuck out the most, that I am the worst at, was being able to truly listen. When you listen to someone, truly listen, you’ll have a better understanding of that person. With that better understanding you can see if you share characteristics, interests, or if you share nothing at all. If you show that you understand what someone is saying to you, it can lead to a better connection with that person. For me, the hardest part about listening are my wandering thoughts. Within the time a person is talking to me I can cover about ten different topics in my mind. I plan to try some of the 10 rules Celeste Headlee recommends for being a better conversationalist. Fingers crossed!

Link to Celeste Headlee's TedTalk: